My other whining.

It’s the same, really, as whining from before.

I’m lonely.

I’m horny.

I feel like men don’t see me, ever.

The new part is that my vibrator broke. lol

So, I’ll have to go out an buy a new one of those. It seems pretty important lately.

It’s weird, I can go for weeks without thinking about sex. And then it’s like nothing else matters anymore!

The last week or so I’ve been choosing things to watch based on how hot (and how naked) the men are in it.

So, I’ve seen: Blade Trinity, Wolverine, and I’m now watching True Blood. (Right now, Eric is naked in Bill’s huge bathtub, it’s quite lovely.)

Seriously, I need to get some. This is ridiculous!

I don’t know how to find a guy. Even if I were to find one, I’m not sure how to get one interested in me.

I was trying to fill out my profile on a dating website and it asked what people first notice about me. My first instinct was to put “how fat I am”. Or “nothing, because people don’t see me”.

What do people see when they look at me?

I don’t know.

Do they even see me?

I don’t know that either.

I’m 35 and alone. I’ve always been alone my whole life. It sucks.

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

And not just because of sex. I’d like companionship, snuggles, someone to talk to. All sorts of stuff like that.

What did I do to deserve being left alone like this? Why don’t I get someone? Why do other people get someone and not me?

It’s official. I’m invisible.

So, I post on a website on a semi-regular basis.

There’s a group of girls that post. Sometimes I add posts to the thread.

Every time, I am completely ignored. It’s like my post never occurred.

I give up.

Why bother posting there for absolutely no acknowledgement? It’s frustrating. I don’t know why nobody replies to me, or comments on anything I’ve said, or even acknowledge that I exist at all.

I just don’t understand.

I don’t expect a lot. I don’t expect a reply every time. But some acknowledgement sometime would be nice!

Anyway, that’s my whine about that.

I have others, but I think I’ll start a new post for that whining. It’s similar, but not the same.

Whining. Again.

Alright, so I’m posting.

About being lonely. Again.

I seem to post about that frequently. And never do anything about it.

I have a goal for this year. I’d like to think it’s doable.

I want to get laid. At least once.

Is that really too much to ask?

The problem is my self-esteem.

It’s in the toilet. It has rarely emerged from there.

I see myself as fat (which I am) and mediocre-looking, at best.

I’m intelligent and can be funny (on occasion); I also have some conversational and culinary skills.

I guess my other issue is that I never seem to meet anyone new.

Blargh.